


Can't Go Home Alone Again, Need Someone to Numb the Pain

by motherofdragons418



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Big Bro Thor, Depressed Loki, Depression, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, M/M, Protective Thor, Saakar, Sad Loki, Trigger Warnings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, thor ragnarok - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:25:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19171381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherofdragons418/pseuds/motherofdragons418
Summary: Loki lands on Saakar weeks before Thor arrives. Filled with grief and guilt, Loki begins to find unhealthy ways to cope and people begin to take advantage of his vulnearable state.





	Can't Go Home Alone Again, Need Someone to Numb the Pain

On Saakar there was a party going on all the time, constantly. I found it to be quite pleasant to keep my mind off of what had just conspired on Earth when my father died. I still can't believe he still would call me 'son' after everything that has gone down these past few years.

As I downed another drink, the thought of my mother comes into my mind. I miss her so much. I wish my last words to her weren't renouncing my title as a son to her. She has given so much to me and I had thrown it all back in her face.

"Then am I not your mother..." She had said.

"You're not." I had said.

You're not.

I slammed my drink down when the Grandmaster came up to me.

"Oh hey Lo-lo! You seem uh a little worked up. Here uh why don't you have this! You just stick it on your tongue. Open up." The Grandmaster said.

I opened my mouth and he stuck the piece of paper on my tongue. I have used this drug before a few times here on Saakar. It helped me forget about the fucked up reality that was my life. It made me forget about all my mistakes and failures I had throughout my life. My sad, pathetic life. It made me angry to think that in order to make myself feel better, I needed some stupid drug and alcohol to make me forget.

"There you go, you'll be feeling great in no time..." The Grandmaster stated while winking at me. 

"Of course." I responded, giving him a small smirk.

"Hey, why don't you uh come here and meet some of my friends, I'm very sure you'll like them as much as I do." The Grandmaster said, grabbing my arm and leading me to a large table with a couple of people who seemed to be drinking casually, and laughing about something.

"Guys! Look who I have here! This here is Loki, he had arrived here not too long ago, maybe like uhh 2 to 3 weeks ago." The Grandmaster stated, gesturing his arms towards me, presenting me to his so called friends. 

They all introduced themselves and gestured for me to sit down. One man named Rygel began talking to me about himself, but I wasn't really listening.

I began to feel the effects of both the alcohol and drug talking effect on my mind and body. I began to see images flash across my eyes. Images of my mother and father on Asgard, before I began to see what life is truly all about. All of a sudden the images of my mother and father are replaced with Him.

Thanos.

I saw him walk behind the images on my parents before he picked them up by their throats and crushed their necks.

I instantly freeze up and stand. Rygel took notice of this and beckoned me to sit back down.  
.  
"What wrong Loki?" He asked. "You look like you got spooked by something."

"S'nothing." I slurred. "Jus- a bad thought."

"Oh well what was it about?" Rygel asked.

I shook my head and a wave of a hot flash and dizziness washed over me. I fell forward in Rygel's arms. He put his arms around me.

"Don't worry Loki." He said. "I'll take good care of you tonight."

He caressed my cheek and I leaned into the touch. He put his finger under my chin and brought my face close to his. His pupils were dilated and filled with lust. I brought my lips to his and soon we were making out on the chair. Rygel caressed my hair and then brought his lips to my neck and bit softly and then began to suck on the sensitive skin. I let out a small moan. 

'I wanted this.' I thought. Anything to get my mind off what was my reality. I felt pathetic in needed the so called love of strangers to make me feel better and loved, even if they were going to use me for sex. At least I had the feeling of being loved even if it was for a short while. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

I woke up a few hours later in an empty bed. I put my hand where Rygel's body was a few hours prior. It felt cold. 

I slowly got up and put my clothes on and started back to my room that the Grandmaster graciously provided to me. Once I entered my room I began to get a bath ready for myself as I prepared myself for another day in the cycle of what was my life. 

Anything to numb the pain. 

As I finished my bath and getting myself ready for the day, I quickly got dressed in a new outfit that the Grandmaster's tailor provided me. I then walked to the bar where I knew a party has already begun. It was mid-day on Saakar.

As I made my way to a seat at the bar table, i quickly indulged myself in a drink that was being passed around. 

After a few hours of drinking myself to the brink of being wasted I heard footsteps approaching closely.

"Hey beautiful." A male voice said to my right.

I looked over and saw an older man with dark brown hair that was greying in a few areas. He seemed handsome for his age. I smiled lazily.

"Uh hellllo." I slurred. My head had begun to hurt. The old man didn't bother with introductions and immediately began caressing my body. I felt uncomfortable but decided not to say anything. I figured I should be grateful that anyone would be willing to find me attractive. I was a monster. A frost giant. I internally laughed at myself. 

'I am outcast among monsters too.' I thought to myself. 'A runt.'

Soon the caressing became aggressive and then the man was kissing me. I allowed it. His breath was horrid but I was to caught up in my thoughts to really take notice.

"Loki?" A familiar voice called out. 

I instantly froze. Thor? He was here? Alive?

I heard a crash and I was instantly ripped away from the old man.

"Hey, get your hands off my-" The old man was cut off when Thor punched the living daylights out of him. Some people looked over but instantly resumed to what they were doing, feigning ignorance to what was going around them. 

"Thor?" I whispered. Thor looked over to me a quickly caught me as I was falling over.

"Loki? What has happened to you? What is this place? Why were you letting that man touch you like that?" He quickly shot out, eyes filled with a mix of anger and concern.

"S'nothing" I said. "I just want to forget."

"Forget? Forget what?" Thor asked.

I smiled sadly at him.

"Everything." 

\-------------------------------------------

The Grandmaster had provided Thor a room too. I was laying in his bed with Thor laying by my side, holding me in his arms.

"I know Father's death wasn't your fault." He said. I instantly tensed up. "I was angry and in grief in the moment. I'm sorry I was about to take it all out on you." 

I nodded. Tears began to brim my eyes. I tried blinking them away but they began to fall down my face, and soon I began sobbing. Thor just held onto me tighter. 

"Don't worry Loki," Thor said. "We will get through this together. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you in your life when you needed me most. I will make sure to fix that now, I am forever in your debt on this. Please let me make this up to you. I want to help. I hate seeing you like this."

I nodded again. After a while, I heard Thor's breathing deepen and I presumed he was asleep. 

I decided to allow myself to close my eyes too, despite the fact I would be forever haunted by the images Thanos inplanted in my mind. I tried picturing different images, happier images, in my mind, in order to fall asleep. After a while, the feeling of Thor's arms around me brought me warmth. 

I allowed myself to feel safe for the first time in awhile.

With family.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii everyone, hope you enjoy this fic!


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